Report 2: Knowing each other,
how can we think of doing harm?

The visit of our delegation to the Society for Chemical Weapons Victims Support on Wednesday, May 10 was a very emotional one. Here are some further comments on it.

After Richard Deats’ introduction, Stephen Fryberg presented Dr. Shahriar Khateri, the Head of International Relations, with a number of items from the Dayton International Peace Museum. Dr. Kahteri will be collaborating with Steve about starting a peace museum in Teheran, as well as a partnership program with the peace museum in Dayton.

Through the presentations by individual victims of chemical weapons, we had a chance to see and hear first-hand the horrifying results of the use of chemical weapons.

On Thursday May 11, our first stop was in a shopping district of Teheran – so that the women in our delegation could buy local Islamic clothing. We were surprised to find some light, and even rather bright, colors among the dark brown, navy blue and black. Iranian women wear a coat, or “manteau” with long sleeves, either quite long or as short as mid-thigh. They usually wear dark trousers and many wear blue jeans under the manteau. For some of us, it was a great relief to have something lighter to wear than a raincoat in this warm weather.

Some of us also purchased scarves or shawls, which are used by women to cover their hair as is required by the Islamic Republic.  We are each developing our own styles of tying and securing our hear coverings. It does seem to get somewhat easier with practice. We have been promised a report on impressions of women’s clothing in Iran from the men on our delegation. Stay tuned!

Our next visit was to a women’s NGO called Khane Salaamate Naser Khosro. The purpose of this NGO is to train and support women who are widows, divorcees, or have husbands who are in prison or drug addicts. It is located in a converted family home in a poor section of Teheran. Their programs include diet and nutrition, individual and group discussion and support, family and citizens’ rights, and education in life skills.

The director, Mrs. Lida Bonakdaran, started this program nine years ago, using her own money to buy materials for handicrafts projects. She particularly tries to help these women develop business skills so that they can support their families.

They learn practical skills such as rug weaving, making artificial flowers, sewing, and baking. Their products are sold in a cooperative, so that they will have a constant income. Some of the members of our group bought items they had made. We had some time at the end of our visit to talk individually with the staff and the women at the center. The women were delighted to talk with us, and explained in moving terms the difficulties of their lives.

Spirits of Saadi and Hafez in dreamy Shiraz

The evening of Thursday, May 11, we flew from Teheran to Shiraz. Stephen Fryburg wrote: “This dreamy desert city, which once greeted travelers on the Silk Road, welcomed us with a full moon and a mild desert breeze. I’m sure the spirits of Saadi and Hafez kissed our cheeks as the wind brushed by our faces.

“Before I could get on the bus, a young couple stopped me and asked where I was from. In their late teens or early twenties, they could have been from any part of the world. Hope, and their youthful spirit for the future, sparkled in their widening eyes as I explained that I was from the U.S.A., explained our delegation’s mission, and gave them my business card from the Peace Museum. Their first response was gratitude. They said that it was such a wonderful gesture for us to travel so far to meet them and to learn more about the Iranian people.

“Our brief moment was cut short by someone calling from the bus to say that I needed to get on board. So I quickly pressed a couple of peace buttons into their hands and bid them ‘Khoda Hafez’ (May God protect you.) Riding the bus to the hotel, I stared out the window. Families were seated in garden areas along the road having dinner and spending time together. My mind drifted back to the couple at the airport, with so much of their lives ahead of them, and so much to offer the world. If we take time to get to know one another, how can we think of harming each other?”

On Friday, May 12 we explored the city of Shiraz and visited a number of spectacular sights, including the Eram Botanical Garden, the mausoleums of Saadi and Hafez and the Qor’an Gate.

The Eram Botanical Garden follows a design that was created by Cyrus the Great, 2,500 years ago. It was called “Paradis-e”, hence our English word, “paradise”. This garden was once the private garden of Farah Diba, the third wife of the last Shah.

Today the building at the center of the garden is an administrative building for the Law School of Shiraz University. The garden is divided into four quadrants, containing plants from four parts of Iran. Iranian cyprus and citrus trees line the water channels leading out from a central pool, and one of the quadrants contains a thousand rose bushes. Other trees include maples, oaks, elms, and ashes. A group of us was sitting on a tile-lined planter containing Sweet William surrounding the hedge.

As we chatted, a family joined us. The husband and wife spoke good English, and their son was enchanting. We shared many stories. The wife had a very soft voice resulting from an auto accident 10 years previously, and she spoke with Dr. Frank Gatti about medical topics. These hospitable people liked our peace buttons.

Steve Fryburg's Saadi tee shirt at Saadi shrine

David and Ona Owens were talking to some bright young men from Shiraz University. One was wearing a “Kentucky Horse Park” t-shirt. When they did not seem to understand the word “married”, David took Ona’s hand to show her wedding ring. “Oh”, they said, surprised. “That is an Iranian custom!”

Moved to tears at poet’s mystical tomb

Sahar Driver wrote: “I have been moved to tears only twice on this trip, my first to Iran. The first was when I encountered my family waiting outside the airport in Teheran, many of whom I had never met; the second was today when we visited the tomb of Hafez. Both times the tears were spontaneous and unexpected. Both times I felt intimately close to what it means that I am Iranian and American.

“The poet/mystic Hafez, named such for his ability to recite all 6,000+ verses of the Qur’an by heart, is beloved by Iranians the world over. His rhythmic stories of love and laughter and wine have pierced the hearts of Iranians like the cupid’s arrow – and now they have pierced mine.

“Tonight there was a full moon and there could not have been more magic in the air. Hafez’s shrine was bustling with people paying their respects, making their rounds. Families with children running about with their sneakers that light up with each step, young and hip-looking girls, the young ‘fashionista’ men in their tight black jeans and silver belt buckles, women in full hijab, and us, the American tourists who always raise a curious eyebrow or two.

“I walked up to his tomb to kneel at its side and offer my blessings when I was struck by a young woman kneeling herself, with her head lowered and set against the stone grave. I watched her body heave, sobbing as she tightly clutched a book of Hafez’s poems. In this moment, my own tears fell easily, suddenly and without heed.

“On this trip I have been highly aware of my insider/outsider status. I am often mistaken for being Iranian, which is ironic as I feel less so here than in the United States. Some of the questions that other delegates ask, however, I know the answers to intimately, making me feel less American and more Iranian. The pendulum swings both ways throughout the day as I shift back and forth between identities. In this moment however, basking in the light of the mood, soaked in Middle-Eastern melodies that ring in the night, I watch this young girl weep – maybe for a lost love or an appreciation that overcomes her, but in this moment I understand.

“Love fills the air, the song of the nightingale and the rose (gol va bolbol) intoxicates everyone nearby, and as I pass by young men and women sitting in groups all about, laughing, talking, taking in the scene, I think: There is something I can learn here about love and respect for the dead who have offered much, and for a history that cannot/should not be forgotten.

Nayereh and Nancy Jo Lane at the underground spring at the Saadi shrine.  The Iranian woman with the FOR hat was laughing so much.  We chatted with all of the family.  The women saw our buttons and said, 'Yes, definitely they were for peace too.'

Nothing more important than to listen and learn

“How might we as Americans overcome our historic amnesia that contributes to so much violence, even as we espouse ‘peace’ and ‘freedom’ for all? We come as delegates for peace, yet what more important thing can we do towards this end but to listen, pay attention, and learn from these people?  If all I have done as a result of this trip is begun to dispel the myths that circulate about Iranians, then I have done a lot. And if I can hold up a mirror, then I have done even more. Violence begins in the smallest of spaces. Peace then, must as well.”

Steve Fryburg wrote: “Last night, at the Tomb of Hafez, the Sufi mystic poet, I met and spoke with a husband and wife, there with their two small daughters. They were very pleased to see American citizens taking such an interest in Iran and only wished to see our two countries become friends.

“I gave the two daughters olive wood dove necklaces made in Palestine and told the father that hopefully, by the time they are old enough to wear them, we will have peace in the world.

“We had a very good stay in Shiraz, and had the chance to meet with people of all ages while walking through parks and gardens in the city. A couple of the group members came across some people who had some bad feelings about Americans and expressed the same, but that is to be expected under these conditions and considering the history between our two countries.

“In fact, I would have thought that we would have encountered more of the negative, but instead we have been welcomed quite warmly wherever we have gone.”

Pejman, our guide, gave us a surprise visit to a shrine that is usually closed to non-Muslims, but since he knows the caretaker, we were able to go inside for a short visit.

When he opened the door, we gasped out loud. The walls were covered with tiny mirrors, set at different angles to reflect the light. Looking up at the ceiling, Sr. Ellen Francis wrote that she lost a sense of distance and rather felt that she was looking into infinite space. A few people came to pray, including a sheik.

As we were leaving, Lily asked about some little round stones at the entrance. Sr. Ellen Francis explained to her that these are prayer stones that Shiite Muslims place on the ground in front of them when they pray, and they touch their foreheads to the stone when they bow to the ground. The stones are made from the clay of holy places such as Mashad, Najaf, and Karbala.The caretaker saw us talking about the stones, and gave us each a well-worn stone. We told him that we would treasure these stones, which hold many, many prayers.

Friday evening we enjoyed a wonderful buffet dinner with live music. The Iranians with us snapped their fingers, and we were itching to dance, but this is not allowed in public places. Iranians still dance at private parties, weddings, and such. We are finding Iranian food very delicious, and may roll off the plane when we return to NYC. We have learned that Iranians say “bah, bah, bah” with a roll of the head when food is especially wonderful.

Tomorrow we will be on the road to Persepolis.