THE DECADE CHALLENGE

Edited By Janet Chisholm

THE CIRCLE OF TRUTHS: Role Taking and Active Listening

The Circle of Truths exercise regularly receives praise and admiration from participants in our nonviolence training program. For many, it is a transforming experience that engenders surprising respect for and understanding of opponents. In no small part, the design of the exercise is a result of my own study of human development and research. There is a level of cognitive and emotional development that finally enables a maturing child to put herself in another’s role. It is this ability to role-take that is practiced and developed in the Circle of Truths exercise.

Role-taking, the ability to intentionally put oneself in another’s shoes, may be one of the most valuable skills for building a culture of peace and nonviolence. It is a skill which oppressed people master to deal effectively with their oppressors. It is a skill that allows us to effectively and humanely respond in situations where there are inequalities of power --- through knowing the heart and mind of others, a concern for how we will appear to them, and a motivation for cooperation. Through role-taking, we are able to develop a capacity to understand opponents and then to tailor our strategy for action. We are able to anticipate the other’s response and use this awareness to guide and adjust our actions, exercising flexible self-control of our own behavior. Role-taking also helps us relate to the humanity of our opponents through empathy, which restrains our tendency to demonize, and can lay the foundation for negotiation and eventual reconciliation. If we are skilled in role-taking, we will create more effective strategies, develop more love and empathy for our opponents, and better prepare for eventual meetings and negotiations with them.

Role-taking is the human ability to mentally decenter from one's own perspective or vantage point

and see events from the standpoint of others ...it takes effort and therefore some special motivation...

(it) involves the cognitive ability to grasp the emotional likes and dislikes of other people.

It is the capacity to respond to our own on-coming gestures and behaviors, as would the other, and

to use this imagined response in the control of our own developing social behavior. Much of role

taking has to do with controlling peoples' positive responses to us... (it) is a major control mechanism

that subordinates can use to equalize the superior control that social superordinates have over them... it

is a normal response to the inequalities of power.

The other role-taking emotions inadvertently giving cohesion to the society at large are the empathetic emotions. These emotions are directed toward others and are evoked by emotionally placing ourselves

in the other person’s position and vicariously experiencing the feelings of, and our own feelings for, the other. These give rise to what we call altruistic behaviors.

The Circle of Truths exercise is designed to practice the skills of role-taking and active listening. It has been helpful to groups struggling to understand and respond to conflict or controversial issues in a faith community, in town government or an organization, and in national controversies like the Iraq war. Some report that doing the exercise a second time has significantly deepened their understanding of others' perspectives and their intended action plan.

Why not try the Circle of Truths exercise in your local group? If you have spent time together to develop a good level of trust, the exercise may be a useful tool for developing your nonviolent skills. (Note: In nonviolence training, we do this exercise toward the end of our sessions, after the group has built a sense of community trust.) Plan on one hour for the exercise and feedback. Begin by gathering a number of people that can be separated into smaller groups of 6 participants each. Brainstorm together on issues of injustice, violence or conflict that are important to the group. Then gain consensus on one issue to use in the exercise, an issue on which community residents differ greatly. Identify at least 6 or 7 very different perspectives on the issue, but do not include your own perspective as a peace activist or advocate. (An example related to the Iraq war on terrorism: soldier, politician, emergency services, taxpayer, veteran, Muslim. Another example related to school racism: teacher, NAACP member, parent, taxpayer, student, school board member.) Write each role on a separate piece of paper. Then briefly demonstrate the exercise, completing only two rounds of the circle. This will help everyone envision the exercise they will be doing in their small groups.

After the brief demonstration, divide the large group into small groups of six (or seven, if necessary) and give each small group a set of papers identifying the roles. Invite each small group to run the exercise so that every participant has the opportunity to stand in every role.

Place the papers in a circle on the floor. Have six individuals stand or sit in a circle so that each person is behind one of the papers that designates a role. Then ask each participant to turn to the outside of the circle in order to take a few seconds to get into the role and to decide what 2-3 sentences to say to the others. (See the guidelines below.) A person who is ready turns to face into the circle again. When all have turned into the circle, a cycle begins at the designated first role and moves clockwise until all roles have spoken.

Each person should strive to express very briefly in 2-3 sentences related to the controversial issue some of the needs, fears, or desires of a person in the role --- not the public utterances of the person, but the private feelings that might be shared with a partner or intimate friend. When one person is speaking, the other participants are actively listening, letting the words touch their minds and hearts. The participants should not attempt to argue, to convince, or to reach a compromise, but simply to speak what they imagine may be on the hearts of people in the different roles. Discourage stereotypes or caricatures of the roles; urge participants to think of the variety of individuals who might be in the role and therefore of the variety of deep feelings they might hold. The goal is to put oneself into another’s shoes and to speak convincingly and forcefully from the heart to others in the circle so that they can deepen in their understanding and compassion for the person. (Example: One soldier may greatly fear going to Iraq, another may feel deceived that he is being sent to a war he did not sign up for, and another may be enthusiastic because he is finally seeing some action.) Before the second cycle begins, each participant moves over one role, again faces outward to get into the role, turns toward the center when ready, and the new cycle begins, starting with the same designated first role as before.

When the small groups finish, ask everyone to return to the large group. After they assemble, allow time for them to recenter, journal, take deep breaths, or in some other way “come back to themselves.” Then ask questions to elicit feedback, starting with general questions and becoming more specific: How did it feel? What emotions came up for you? What surprised you? What do you think about the experience? What insights did you have that might allow you to be more empathetic to another’s attitude and behavior? If you were to enter into dialogue tomorrow with someone who holds views contrary to yours, would you deal with the situation any differently? How can you use what you learned in the exercise in the future?

This exercise is difficult for some people, yet participants regularly affirm that it is compelling and thought-provoking and that the group “holds” them securely. It remains a favorite in every nonviolence training.

This Circle of Truths exercise pays tribute to Mohandas Gandhi, a master at role-taking. He acknowledged that everyone holds a piece of the truth. No one person holds it all. His own role-taking skill led to effective nonviolent strategy and to astonishing compassion for opponents.

May we, like Gandhi, develop the capacity to stand in another’s shoes.

May we strategize with compassion.

May our steps lead to reconciliation.

May we aim for the heart.